Examination

Who am I?

Deep question right? Do you really know yourself? All of us have a public life. That's the part of life that not only we know but everyone around us sees and knows. We also have a private life. This is the part of our lives that few people know, only the ones we have allowed to enter into our confidence and trust. My wife, for instance, knows things about me that no one else knows. We also have secret lives, the part of our lives that only we know.

Since becoming a Christian, I have wanted to be authentic and transparent. What you see is what you get! My public life is not that much different than my private life. What people see when I'm down town or at church is pretty much the same as what you would see behind the closed doors of my home. I've wanted my secret life to be pretty small and becoming smaller as I grow in my trust of other believers who desire the best for my life. I think we all want a life free from hypocrisy. None of us want a huge gap between our public and private life and a long list of secrets we work to keep hidden. That's why it's so important to be in a Small Group and have people surrounding us that we can truly be accountable to, people we trust will love us no matter what and to tell us, not what we want to hear but what we need to hear. I think that is a major part of Christian community.

But there is another part of our life that really interests me. I would call it the inner life. It's that part of life that people don't see and is hidden even from us. It is the part of our life that only God knows, the thoughts and intentions of the heart. It is that part of life that David spoke of in Psalms 139 when he asked the Lord to search him and see if there was any wicked ways in him and to lead him in the everlasting way.

Would you like to know more about your inner life? Let me give you a practical way of discovering a bit more of what makes you tick.

Carve out 30 days after the Christmas season and take 15 minutes at the end of each of those days and journal two things. First, jot down the part of your day that gave you the most fulfillment and created the most joy and offered you the most strength. Don't be too haste in what you write. Give the Holy Spirit time to review with you your day. This might be as significant as getting a salary increase or as small as receiving a word of affirmation from a friend.

Second, partner with the Holy Spirit in determining the place in your day that was the most disappointing, the most life draining, that brought you the greatest sense of grief, fear, anxiety or discouragement.

Then, before your finished, ask the question "Why"? Why did this event in my day create joy and why did this particular event create anxiety and fear. Give this little exercise 30 days and I believe you will see a pattern. And for the things that strengthen you, be thankful and aware of the Father's delight in filling your life with joy. And for the things that drain you, let God touch those areas of your life, allowing Him to bring His healing and love and to strengthen you in that area of life.

If anyone takes me up on this little exercise, I'd love to hear from you.

I pray that Jesus will fill your Christmas and lead you through the coming new year.