Twenty three years ago, my family and I began to pioneer the Heartland Vineyard Church. It’s been an exciting journey and you’ve been an important part of that journey. We’ve seen the church grow in size, scope and influence. People have been radically transformed by the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit.
We’ve also shared in the pain that comes with a life committed to Christ. As kingdom people, we should never forget that we’re in a war. A real and deadly battle is taking place right now all around us. We all know someone who has either been wounded or lost in this battle. Yet, we are here, fighting for the cause of Christ. At times we get tired and need to rest and sometimes we get wounded and we need to heal.
I’ve been in full-time ministry half my life. Those 30 years went by quickly. For the past two years, I’ve been experiencing physical symptoms that I didn’t understand. I knew I was getting older but I was experiencing things like headaches, body aches, insomnia, appetite changes and worst of all debilitating fatigue. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was the diagnosis given by the physicians at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN after days of testing.
Shortly after going to Mayo Clinic, I was given a book by a friend entitled “Leading on Empty”. It’s a wonderful book that every Christian leader, young and old should read. It’s the story of Wayne Cordeiro, pastor of New Hope Church in Hawaii, a mega-church of over 14,000 members. After 20 years of serving his church, he found himself exhausted and unable to continue in ministry. In this book, he describes his healing and restoration.
This book helped me realize that my condition might be less physical and more connected with my emotions. We’re all wired differently (Psalms 139) and I happen to be wired with expressive emotions. Sometimes that wiring works for me and sometimes it works against me. Given that so much of my work requires much emotional output; counseling, funerals, weddings, preaching, caring for hurting people and leading our church into God’s call, I see now that I had become emotionally fatigued to the point that it had begun to affect me physically.
As Roi Lene and I prayed about this, we felt we needed to take another step. We opened ourselves up to extensive emotional and psychological testing. After going through a battery of tests at Campion, Barrows and Associates in Champaign, Illinois, clinical therapists sat down with us and explained our condition. Their conclusion was that I had hit a wall emotionally. Roi Lene had also hit a wall in trying to care for me. This wall was like a marathon runner hitting a wall physically at about mile twenty. I had gone too long, working out of my strength and passion without real rest. Growing up on a farm taught me many things. Something I didn’t learn was how to rest. I had done the best I knew how taking care of our church but I had failed to take care of myself.
The Christian therapists were extraordinarily professional and helpful. They advised me toward a treatment that I believe will lead me to total health and an ability to lead our church into the next decade. However, the most important component of the treatment will temporarily affect our church.
I still remember that day when I sat with the therapist and he said, “Dan, for you a sabbatical leave is not optional. You must disconnect from your duties as pastor for a season so that your soul can be healed.” I was mortified. But after praying with my wife, visiting with our family, our Staff, our Small Group and our Board of Directors, I know I must take some time to heal. The therapist said, “If you do what we ask, you will not be as good as new, you will be better than ever.”
Our Board of Directors has graciously given me the opportunity with their blessing and support to take a five month sabbatical beginning the second week of May. I have worked for weeks to formulate a plan to heal. I have met with our Staff, our Board and a team of Regional Pastors including Happy Leman, our Regional Overseer. These wise counselors have been of great help to us. This sabbatical is not a glorified vacation. This is a time that I am investing in myself and my wife so we can be the pastors this church needs and deserves. We have been blessed with a wonderful and capable staff and a committed leadership. Therefore, I am confident that our church is in good hands.
Roi Lene and I will not be attending our church for these five months. We will likely visit churches outside our city and this will afford us the opportunity to attend church as “Christians” and not as pastors. I will not be responding to email. Vickie Minard, my trusted assistant will be handling my email. I will not be personally responding to email or voice mail beginning May 11th and continuing through September.
Much of our time will be spent at home. Therefore, if we see you in town, we will look forward to visiting with you and receiving and giving hugs. However, we will not be open to discuss church related or personal needs issues for this time during our sabbatical. I must discipline myself to disconnect from pastoral duties. Our pastors will be in the office as usual and so if you have needs, please don’t hesitate to call our church office.
Be assured that Roi Lene and my relationship with each other as husband and wife is as good as it has ever been. We deeply love each other and are not experiencing any marital crisis. Our relationship with Jesus is strong and vibrant. We have never been surer of our call to the ministry. We want to finish strong.
People might wonder, “Did Dan fall into some sinful behavior?” The only sin involved in this situation is my inability to recognize how much a loving God would want to rest His shepherds. God is fine-tuning my understanding of His love and I am grateful for these lessons, as painful as they might be.
We are asking you, our church family, to make this investment into our lives for these five months by doing the following. 1. Pray for us. 2. Continue in faithfulness to meeting together at church and in your Small Groups. 3. Continue in your faithful giving and service to Jesus knowing that you can never out-give a loving and generous servant King.
I will be sending Heartland Vineyard Church a monthly update on our progress during our sabbatical leave. I know that this time to disconnect from our duties as your pastor is necessary but we will deeply miss all of you.
There is much to do in the coming decade for our church. The Kingdom of God must be advanced by the power of the Holy Spirit. I want to make certain that I can lead our church with 100% of my heart and vigor.
I have never been more convinced that God prophetically birthed this church. He is building His church so the gates of hell will not prevail. He’s completely committed to each and every one of us, promising to never leave or forsake us. He has a magnificent plan.
